


Alone Without You

by xenous



Category: Take That (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Cheating, Infidelity, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-15 02:00:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18488986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xenous/pseuds/xenous
Summary: I love you, and I know you love me too but in the end, I know I’m not the one you will choose when that day comes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I felt like writing something a bit sad and I don't think I've written any Gary/Howard yet so...

"Howard...” you moan as you’re slammed against the cold wall. Your hair is still slightly damp from sweat; we've just finished a show and while the others are off celebrating another successful night, I’m here with you, rocking our erections against each other and kissing you desperately.

It’s always like this. Stolen moments, small kisses when no one is watching, a touch and a whisper of love.

It’s our secret, your affair. I don’t mind that it’s our secret. We've always shared so many secrets, and I always liked that, knowing you and me shared something special together...something no one else knew about. But I know it's tearing you apart because as much as you love me, you also love her.

Dawn. Your wife. The only woman you could ever love. I hate her as much as I love her.

I hate her because you love her, she’s the one you go home to, the one you kiss before going to bed, the one who gave you your beloved kids. I love her because she’s a good friend, she’s a wonderful person, she’s understanding and everything you deserve. And tonight you'll go back to the hotel with her, kiss her, laugh with her and go to bed with her.

But right now, just for a little while, you’re mine. You’re moaning my name, kissing me with your soft lips and clinging to me as I thrust inside you, so tight and hot. You beg for more, you beg me to go faster, harder, deeper. You whimper and moan, pant and grunt. You dig your nails into my skin and slowly drag them down, making me bleed slightly but I don’t care, I love it when you leave your marks on me.

You look so beautiful, lips bruised from kisses, parted as you moan. Dark eyes filled with lust and love as you look deep into my own. The sounds you make as you get closer and closer to climax are the most erotic sounds I’ve ever heard. The way my name sounds coming from your lips, it turns me on so much I could probably come just from hearing it.

God, you’re the most beautiful creature to have ever walked the earth, the hottest guy ever and the only man I would ever fuck...'cause that’s what we do. The first time we slept together, we made love. As stupid as it sounds, we made slow, beautiful love…right now, we fuck.

It's rough, like two animals or horny teenagers…we bite and bruise, tug and tear, anything to satisfy our needs for each other.

You're biting down hard on your lip now as you clench your eyes shut and whimper. I know you’re so close but don’t want to be loud in case someone hears us, because you’re always loud when you come. You always scream my name and mutter curses and brush your lips over mine, telling me you love me so much.

You jerk and crash our lips together in a bruising kiss, making all sorts of sounds as you tighten around my cock and spill yourself between our bodies. It doesn’t take long before I follow, making a low growling sound of your name and as I come back down from heaven I can hear you curse and feel your lips tracings kisses along my jaw line.

When you move to kiss me again, you’re smiling so softly at me and kiss me so lovingly and as you pull back you whisper, “I love you, Dougie”

I can't help but smile myself and respond with an “I love you too.”

Now we’re dressed, acting as if nothing's happened, as if we never said those three words just moments ago. You agree to come with me to join the other lads but suddenly change your mind saying you have to get back to Dawn and the kids…back to your family.

I watch as you leave, probably looking like a little child who’s been left all alone by his mother. I love you, and I know you love me too but in the end, I know I’m not the one you will choose when that day comes. You’ll choose your wife and kids because you love them so much, and I’ll be left with a broken heart and memories of our moments together…because I love you Gary...so much more than you’ll ever know.


	2. Chapter 2

I knew this day would come. I kept hoping that it wouldn’t, but I knew I was only fooling myself.

You’re crying, soaking my shirt as you bury your face into my chest and sob, making small whimpering noises every now and then. My heart aches and my head is empty as I hug you as close as humanly possible without crushing you.

"I'm sorry, Howard. I'm so sorry...I love you. I'm sorry. I love you so much!" you sob, words muffled by the fabric of my shirt and I stroke down your back.

"It's okay, Gary. Shh, don’t cry...I understand." I lie. I really want to beg you not to do this. I want to beg you to choose me. Don’t leave me; stay with me please. "Dawn and the kids are more important...I know, Gaz." I pull back slightly when you stop sobbing and shaking, drying the last tears away with my thumb and smile at you, even if I feel like breaking down and crying myself.

"It's not like we won’t see each other again. We're still band mates...still best friends." It seems to comfort you at least little, knowing that I will still be by your side. You’re selfish like that. I don’t really mind, but it’s going to be torture being around you, knowing I had you for that little while but not enough to satisfy my desire for you.

You’re leaving me for your wife and kids...it’s fucked up!

"I love you How, I really do." You chew slightly on your lip, "But Dawn...I can’t lie to her anymore. I can’t take anymore lying or the look on the kids' faces when they ask me why I'm never home at night...I just can’t Howard. I just can't give up on them."

You keep on rambling and chewing on your lip until I cup your cheek in my hand and stroke the skin with my thumb as I look into your eyes.

"I understand. I've always known they're more important. I know I'm important to you too, but in another way." Tears form in your eyes again.

"I love you, Howard." you whisper.

"I love you too, Gary." I whisper back and lean in to brush my lips softly against yours before I press them into a kiss.

This time we made love, no rough fucking in a dark corner. We took our time, lying in my bed. Touching, stroking, kissing, caressing like we wouldn’t wake up the next morning.

Tears fell from your eyes the whole time, and you kept whispering how much you loved me - it became a chant between gaps and moans. I don’t want you to leave me. You could have chosen me, Gary. I know I'm not Dawn, but I would do anything to make you happy...don’t leave me.

Please don’t leave me. I need you...more than air, more than anything. I need you, Gary - I always have and always will.

I don’t mean the things I'm saying, don’t believe me when I smile and say it's okay. You know me better than that. Please...see through my lies and fake smiles - see through me. Don’t leave me. Please don't do it, Gary. Don't go to her, stay with me. Stay with me don’t leave me...I love you.

We're panting, covered in sweat and semen. I roll over, pulling you into a tight hug and kissing your temple as I feel myself drifting into sleep.

"Don’t leave me..." I whisper as I close my eyes and fall asleep, still hoping in my mind that you'll be here when I wake up the next morning. I've always fooled myself into believing in fairy tales.

I wake up as the sun hits my face - I must have forgotten to close the curtains last night. I sit up and slowly open my eyes, still hoping, wishing that you'll be in bed with me.

Tears fall from my eyes...

I'm alone.


End file.
